The "Real" Father's Day

A week has nearly passed since we celebrated Father's Day, the official holiday. This weekend, however, I'm getting down to the real business of fathering. Wasteland Spouse is on a much deserved and much needed weekend away. I have Wasteland Kid and Wasteland "Toddler" to myself this weekend.

I'll have fun. I enjoy spending time with them.

I will admit, though, that getting the three of us around by myself always takes about 325% longer than I anticipate it will. This morning WK was late to swimming lessons despite my effort to start getting us ready about an hour before we had to leave.

I haven't had to do much of the getting-us-ready-by-myself, because WS has been nursing W"T" for the past 16 months. (The final nursing occurred two nights ago, much more to mom's dismay than child's, apparently -- and understandably.) So, W"T" and WS have not spent much time apart from one another, which means that I haven't had many experiences getting the two kids ready to go anywhere by myself.

I want to be clear that this weekend will not "teach" me anything that I didn't already know. WS is amazing -- much better than I when she's gone -- at keeping life going when I'm gone. I have known and appreciated that all along. Furthermore, I'm an active parent. We share the load. So, this is not a situation in which dad makes an appearance for the weekend, only to retreat to parental obscurity on Monday afternoon when mom returns. Nevertheless, the reality of the last year -- when WS was on maternity leave from work and was nursing W"T" -- is that WS has spent more time with the kids than I have. In fact, she has not spent more than half a day away from W"T" for roughly the past 500 days. She deserves time away.

While this weekend won't be an "aha" moment for me, because I've known all along what a great mom WS is and how much work she does for us, what this weekend does for me is reinforce how much work it is to take care of the kids alone for a few days. Because of the situation this past year, WS has done that on a number of occasions.

This weekend makes me appreciate her all the more. And makes me feel more guilty when I leave, like I will for 10 days in October when I chaperone 60 twenty-year-olds on a trip to New Dehli. And makes me realize how important it is to give WS time away, like this weekend.

(And, if I were to let my selfish nature take over, it could make me less likely to help her plan that time away. So, I have to fight my selfish nature, just as she would for me.)

Thanks, WS. You're a great mom and partner. You deserve some time to yourself. We'll be thrilled when you get back, but we'll be hoping you have a good time while you're gone.