A Form RSVP: A Service to the THC Readers

Dear "Home Business" Sales Rep (a.k.a. someone I thought was my friend):

I recently received the invitation to your candle/make-up/scrapbooking/basket/jewelry/kitchen-utensil/storage-solution/craptastic-waste-of-my-time-and-money "party." Please accept my sincere apologies. I will be unable to attend. I'll be busy that evening filing down the calluses on my heels and cleaning the gunk out of the grill on the bottom of my refrigerator. As much as I would cherish the opportunity to (a) calculate how little I can buy from you and still maintain our relationship; (b) figure out what, among the useless shit you're selling, I can immediately throw out while doing the least damage to the environment; (c) fret over whether I should point out to you that you've miscalculated the sales tax; and (d) dodge your suggestions that I sign on as a rep "under you," the calluses and gunk really require my attention.

In fact, I'd like to propose a compromise. If you promise never to invite me to another of your "parties," I promise I won't ever send my kid to you begging you to buy second-rate, overpriced, PTA-sponsored candy in "decorative" aluminum "tins." Deal?

Very truly yours,