So, the average American worker "wastes" 2.09 hours per "eight-hour" work day, according to a survey conducted by America Online and Salary.com. This figure does not even -- gasp -- include lunches and scheduled break times. Personal internet use was the biggest villain, followed by socializing, conducting personal business, "spacing out" (my personal favorite), and a category of acts tantalizingly dubbed "other," which I suspect includes examining one's fingernails, peeling split ends, or even getting a little action in the supply closet.
To hear the pundits tell it, this is nothing less than a national catastrophe. An MSN Money article bleats that the results of this "informally conducted" survey suggest "we're a nation of slackers -- worse at wasting time at work than even human resource professional [sic] suspected." (Even worse than the human resources people thought? Somebody get my smelling salts!) Not to be outdone, the headline on Salary.com ominously intones "Wasted Time at Work Costing Companies Billions."
Oh, the horror.
Frankly, I'm a little disappointed. Only 2.09 hours? I thought Americans were better idlers. But I do have some hope for Missourians, who are the biggest loafers in America, reportedly spending a delicious three hours and twelve minutes a day goofing off. Indiana, bless its indolent little heart, finished second in the idler sweepstakes with a respectable 2.8 hours of leisure. (I suspect the reason Indiana lost to Missouri is my relocation from Indiana some months ago, which greatly improved the state's productivity statistics.)
But really. Disregard the bellyaching about lost productivity and lazy workers. The results of this survey are cause for cheer, not a sermon.
In the preface to his new book How to be Idle, the delightful Tom Hodgkinson tells us why slacking is not only harmless, but desirable:
Perhaps it's a sign of how alienated we are from this outlook that I found How to be Idle in the humor section of my local bookstore.In the West, we have become addicted to work. Americans now work the longest hours in the world. And the result is not health, wealth and wisdom, but rather a lot of anxiety, a lot of ill health and a lot of debt.
This book seeks to recover an alternative tradition in literature, poetry and philosophy, one that says not only is idleness good, but that it is essential for a pleasurable life. Where do our ideas come from? When do we dream? When are we happy? It is not when staring at a computer terminal worrying about what our boss will say about our work. It is in our leisure time, our own time, when we are doing what we want to do.
In any event, it's probably safe to assume that a copy of How to be Idle is not lying on Missouri Governor Matt Blunt's nightstand. Apparently, Governor Blunt was a bit exercised over his state's first place finish in the poll. In a statement the MSN Money article aptly described as "prickly," Governor Blunt insisted that "[n]obody can match the work ethic of Missourians. This survey, which our busiest citizens did not want to waste their time on, cannot undermine decades of experience. Missouri workers are among the most productive in the world."
Apparently Governor Blunt has never furtively enjoyed a game of spider solitaire between policy meetings. I doubt it has occurred to him that Missourians are so productive because they allow themselves a bit of idling during the work day.
But Salary.com vice-president Bill Coleman demonstrates some grasp of the matter when he says "[t]o some bosses, this is a startling figure. Others, though, will view this extra wasted time as so-called 'creative waste' -- wasted time that may well have a positive impact on the company's culture, work environment, and even business results."
Hmm, you think?
Up soon: Yes, I know we must work. But why binge on it?
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