Everybody Gets Their Eight Centimeters of Fame

I suppose it's part of the cosmic bullshit swirling around the universe that this person is in the prime of his fifteen minutes of fame, and I am still toiling away in an upstairs office.

Frank Ames not only has the good fortune to live in Saranac, New York -- a lovely part of the Adirondack area -- but he has also been blessed with an abnormally long eyebrow hair.

It's 3.78 inches -- or eight centimeters -- long.

Wouldn't that get in your eye and be annoying? I suppose you could get a scrunchie for it, but that might be a bit heavy.

"I don't know why it grows like that; it just always has," confided Ames to the Press-Republican of Plattsburgh, New York. One of Ames' co-workers noticed the hair and suggested he try for the Guinness Book of World Records.

Am I the only one who suspects that suggestion was not kindly meant?

In any event, Ames thought it was a good idea and contacted Guinness. The Guinness people looked around, shuffled through some papers and said, "Um, yeah. Turns out there's no category for eyebrow hairs. Fill out these forms and maybe we'll institute a new category for you."

At the end of the day, the Guinness people were impressed enough by Ames' eight-centimeter long eyebrow hair to do just that, and name him the record-holder.