Puppy-Chewing Casualty List, First Two Weeks

One pair of purple women's underwear (pervy little pantysniffer)
One size seven women's shoe, black
One puppy harness (repaired)
One size eight preschooler shoe, blue
Several pairs of white boy's socks (see photo)

Attempts made, but ultimately foiled, upon:

three bras (not telling you the size) pulled furtively out of hamper in bathroom
Rug in the living room
Blue chenille throw (with puppy-attracting fringe)
Asolo 535 hiking boots (you can cut that crap out right now, little mutt.)